Tainted Romance
by Soko
Summary: A mission gone wrong, an injured teamate no one saw. Ken's left to deal with the loss of Aya's trust, and the broken peices he himself is falling into. RanKen [Complete]
1. Fallen

Tainted Romance

Chapter I

'Fallen'

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part one of seven

_Revised_

"Abyssinian out."

"Abyssinian has a lock on the target, Siberian. Reinforcements are being sent his way. Fourth level."

"Damn it! Where the fuck is Youji?!" A pause, several grunts followed unknown cry's before death befell Siberians victims. His tactics ruthlessly drawn, "Damn! I'm on my way, Siberian O-" A deep gasp panted into the com unit, static silence shortly falling.

"Siberian? Ken!" Omi's hand clenched tightly around his headset, adjusting the frequency, "Ken!" His eyes hacked furiously into the computer. Panic quickly setting into the youngest member of Weiss, he knew that sound. Every one of them did, every one of them knew it all to well. "Balinese! I've lost contact with Sib-" A soft voice suddenly penetrated through his own, intercepting the message, barley audible through the com unit. "I'm Okay... Siberian out... Heading for the fourth level..."

"Siberian!" Bombay's voice raged angrily in worry and question, "Siberian!"

Siberian clutched his side, holding it as if to somehow ease the searing pain as the thick warm red liquid clashed against his hands, stumbling up the stairs. His free hand trailed against the wall, holding him steadily upright as he trekked upwards. Blood smearing from his gloved hand, trailing his path against the wall. Pausing for breath only seemed to intensify the pain.

_Come on Hidaka! Aya's counting on you! _

He grimaced, another wave of pain shooting throughout him.

_Just one more flight..._

"Bombay! Where's Siberian?!" Aya's angered voice shot through his head set, bringing him away from the pain. Pushing aside what he could, he pulled his jacket tighter around him, covering the wound; he darted up the remaining flight of stairs. Aya needed him. Ken was supposed to be his backup. Aya was to deal the final blow to the target, Ken's orders were simple; guard Aya. Keep the targets guards from interfering; guard Aya.

… But he'd fallen behind, having been left to deal with the second wave of guards that followed.

Aya's faint 'Shi-ne's' resounded down the hall, becoming louder with each step taken. Rounding the corner he found the fearless red head. He was surrounded, guns pointing from all directions to one point; Aya. Nevertheless, Aya carried his katana overhead, wielding it against his surrounding foes defiantly.

A gunshot rang out.

Unwavering, Ken jumped from behind, an angry yell escaping his lips as his tiger claws bore down through flesh, ripping through the circle surrounding the red headed katana wielder. Two bodies fell instantly to his feet. He flinched, covering a muffled cry. He could feel the tare in his own flesh stretch as he dropped to his knees. Narrowly avoiding the bullet aimed for him he swung his leg out in one fluent movement, sweeping his opponents feet from under him. His bugnuks rose for the kill, burrowing themselves deep into the mans chest before he uttered his last breath.

Abyssinian lowered his gaze to his coats torn black sleeve. It missed, Ken sighed in relief. The bullet had just grazed his arm, allowing a slight trickle of blood to form around the bullets mark.

"Abyssinian to Bombay, the targets been destroyed. Heading towards the rendezvous point." The tone in the stoic red head seethed in anger, his icy glare befalling Ken in an instant before cladding down the hall ahead of him.

"Copy Abyssinian, Bombay out."

He'd failed him. Aya had been counting on him to back him up. His hesitance the level bellow had almost cost him Aya's life. Something he never wavered in any decision made against it. He'd been distracted, the fraction of the second needed to dodge the knife taken. He was supposed to be Aya's right hand, keeping him safe while he carried out his mission. He'd failed.

He knew what lingered in Aya's eyes before he left him.

He'd lost Aya's trust.

Ken remained hovered above the still and lifeless form, his breathing rapid and shallow. Clenching his eyes shut, he ran a bloodied and quavering hand to his hair, before slowly opening his eyes again and blinking in an attempt to refocus his blurring vision.

_Damn._

Slowly managing to raise himself to his feet, the brunette trotted painfully after.

_I screwed up._

_

* * *

_

"Everyone alright?" Omi's voice broke away from the com unit as Aya reached hearing range. Seeing his leader's torn sleeve he rushed to his side. "You're hurt!"

Aya, shaking him away, sidestepped around him, "I'm fine. It just grazed me."

"Where's Ken? I thought he was with you Aya?" Youji's spoke, blowing smoke between parted lips and looking up. Omi's gaze fell to Aya's taken path, searching for any signs of the brunette when the brunette's own voice befell him. "Omi, I'll meet you back home. Siberian out."

"Ken? Are you all right? Are you injured? Ken!"

A moment of silence followed before the brunette finally responded his voice again low and painfully dragged out. "Fine... Siberian… Out." His com unit shut down, turning to static against his ear before Omi could protest.

"What was that about?" Youji asked, pushing away from the tree he'd currently taken seat against, he looked to the silent red head. Omi looked to him in equal puzzlement. "Did something happen, Aya? Is Ken alright?"

Looking to his fellow teammates, Aya's face remained emotionless as he finally spoke, breaking his silence, "He's fine, let's go."

* * *

Pulling his bike into the garage, Ken turned off the motorcycles engine before managing to peal himself away from automobile. He didn't register the feel of the cold metal keys as they slipped from his hand or the sound as they clattered to the floor, blood spattered, crossing the basement garage. His mind didn't tell his body to feel the numbing cold the icy rain had caused as it penetrated his clothes or the wind frozen bite marks across his marred skin. All it told him was pain; pain that with any sharp movement caused him to sear in agony. It told him his head felt heavy, weighted down with nauseating pain. And that his heart was weighted, taking a larger toll than that of the pain from the wound...

He'd broken Aya's trust.

Having managed to force himself through the apartment, he stumbled into the bathroom, falling against the wall and sliding to the floor. His head falling back against the walls white paint. Everything felt tired, every part of him ached. He wanted sleep; he wanted to purge himself of the pain. But even more, he wanted to run away... Run away from the pain in his heart. Would Aya ever trust him again?

Taking in a breath, he pealed away from his coat, sliding it down his shoulders and off his arms. Moving to his shirt, he lowered his arms to catch the shirts bottom and slowly lift up and over his head.

He hissed between clenched teeth, the bloodied shirt slowly pealing away from his tainted skin.

With the shirt successfully removed, he surveyed the full extent of the injury. His fingers hovered inches above the wound, shaking weakly. The knife had cut cleanly into his torso, tearing down about an inch and a half in length. He'd have to wrap it tightly to stop the bleeding.

Damn, he'd be out of action for almost a month with a wound like this. Kritiker would be angry. Aya... Aya would be furious…

Tightly wrapping the cloth bandage around his torso, he stumbled from the bathroom, leaving the tainted clothing to stain the floor. And the blood stained trail he left behind till morning.


	2. Blood

Tainted Romance

Chapter II

'Blood'

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part two of seven

_Revised_

The rainstorm seemed to have passed, outside the sun shone overhead, brightly tearing through the glass window and warming the contents inside its home. The light delicately falling over everything within its reach, giving the room a small glow. A single cloud rolled past as it wandered lonely in search for companionship in the vast and empty sky. Searching for something to keep it company in life's journey.

In the soft brown cushioned chair the male had fallen asleep, Ken awoke. Sunlight piercing his still closed eyes, he moved sleepily to shield his eyes from the blinding morning sun with the back of his arm.

Not such a good idea.

Pain seared through his side, causing a gasp to escape from his dry lips. Unawake completely, Kens mind fumbled for answer's his body seemed to question. What had happened?

Everything came flooding back at once, weighing down his heart once more. He'd screwed up. He'd almost cost his leader his life. He'd failed in his mission. But what's more, he'd failed the stoic red head he loved.

_Loved? _When had he started to feel this way towards the man? Was that what this lingering feeling that tore at him was? _Yes, _From the way his heart ached, it told him so. Somehow, he thought, he'd known for a while now how he'd felt, but he'd refused to believe himself. Instead, tossing away the feelings that threatened to consume him, that grew stronger with each day that passed.

No, he couldn't feel this way. No, not towards him. Not toward Aya. They were Weiss. A team. They depended on and trusted one another. Something so trivial couldn't be allowed to interfere with their missions. _But I destroyed that trust._

The prominent ache echoed in his chest again and for a moment he forgotten the pain that ripped through him unmercifully.

A knock thundered against his door. "Ken?"

"Shit." Fumbling for a clean shirt, Ken swiftly pulled it overhead, cursing silently to himself with each dazing wince. A wave of dizziness suddenly clutched him, as he stood upright from the cushioned chair he'd fallen asleep in.

"Ken?" Omi's voice. What did he want? Another knock and the doors handle began to twist. With the feeling of weakness giving no signs of dissipating, Ken clutched the dressers top, holding his head in his hand. His slender fingers entwining the darkly chocolate colored locks in a murderous grip.

A blonde head pocked through the door just as his shirt's hem fell over the wrappings. "Ken?" The boy's blue eyes searched the room for the brunette, "Ken, your going to be late, the shop opens in five minutes..." finding him, he stopped, "Aya's going to be angry, you know how he doesn't like it when we're late."

Ken winced again hearing the red heads name, but he didn't look to meet the blondes blue eyes, "Yeah, Omi. Sorry. I'll be down in two."

The blonde stepped forward, opening the door another few inches, "Ken? Are you all right.. You look a bit pale.."

Ken shook his head ignoring the feeling of weakness, "Fine Omi, I'll be down in a sec." Biting back another fighting wave of weakness he thudded over to the blonde. Hurriedly, pushing the boy from his room and closing the door behind him.

Bewildered, Omi stared at the closed door before him, blinking in confusion. This was unlike Ken; this was something more along the lines Aya would do. Short answers, even shorter explanations and a closed door. But Ken...

* * *

Ken hurried down the stairs towards the shop, slipping several aspirin between his lips before leaving his apartment. Hopefully, he thought, it would get him through his shift. Who was his shift with today anways? Youji? He doubted the lazy blonde was even out of bed at this hour. Omi then? Possibly, but then why would Omi mention Aya-

Ken froze stepping through The Koneko doors from the living quarters.

Aya.

Standing silently behind the register with receipts in hand was the said red head himself.

His shift today was with Aya.

Oh no, Lord please no.

He couldn't, not today.

Ken took a step back, his eyes everywhere and anywhere away from him as Omi suddenly appeared from the back room, rocking a large teal colored pot between his arms. "Ken, did Youji come down with you? He's supposed to be working today to! It's Valentines Day! Were going to be swamped!"

Valentines day? That couldn't be right, it was only.. February. His mind slowly seemed to register his thoughts. It couldn't be Valentines Day, they still had a week.. Didn't they?

His mind still felt groggy, unable to fully stay awake. The remaining feeling of weakness leaving him drained and exhausted, no doubt from only just waking up and the added mission last night, he reassured himself.

"Ken?"

"Huh? Oh... No Omi, I didn't see Yotan on my way down. Do you want me to go get him?" Ken shook himself, rubbing his arms suddenly as his body became cold. It did suddenly seem a bit cold in here. In fact, his room seemed a bit cold this morning too.

"Ken.. Are you alright?" Omi's eyes narrowed questionably in concern towards the brunette as he shifted the pot in his arms again. From the counter Aya turned away from his receipts, unnoticed by the brunette. "You look a little-"

"Fine Omi, I'll go get Yotan." An insecure laugh quietly came from his lips as he turned to leave. Omi turned to look to Aya in question. Aya, without an answer, turned back to his receipts. Unfocused on the tiny writing held in his hand.

* * *

Around noon, the small Koneko became crowded with lovesick shoppers and drooling fangirls desiring attention from one of its four workers. Youji glowed in the spotlight, taking time out of his busy schedule to devote time to each of them, even if they were under eighteen. Aya on the other hand turned to each of the customers with, "If your not buying anything get out!" sending another wave of giggles through the already screaming girls. Omi didn't seem to mind their presence, he laughed contently, happily helping each of the girls he schooled with. Letting the names of the girls he knew cross between his lips to that particular person, to the envious glares of others.

His head hurt. His body felt weighted down, and the pain from his side emanated in searing silence. The painkillers he had taken should have started to work hours ago. Why weren't they working? With everything else his chest felt heavy and constricted, from his heavy heart or something more he couldn't tell. His lungs seemed to scream to him in ravenous vengeance, desperately seeking air that it couldn't find.

Everything hurt, he concluded.

He wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep forever. Anything to get away from the guilt... Anything to get away from the pain. He could handle the injuries. He could handle insomnia. But the ache held to close to heart he couldn't. How long...

"Kudou! Get back to work!"

"Hai, Hai. Relax Aya." Youji, a head taller than the girls screaming around him, turned away from the fanatic-girled circle about him, "KenKen, can you give me a hand here?"

"Ken?"

Ken, having safely tucked himself away behind the counter, looked up from his intense gaze upon the countertop, his chocolate locks falling away from his eyes. His chin lifted from the palm it rested in, his body rigid upon the small stool he had found. To the lanky blonde Ken's eyes seemed a bit glazed over and his attention elsewhere, despite the rabid girls. "Huh?"

"Yo, Ken, what's wrong with you? Get over here and give me hand." Youji didn't catch the wince that flashed across Kens face as he sat up from his seat before he replaced his mask of smiles.

Aya however did, noticing to that Ken's usually happy facade, seemed drained. Catching each of the tiny coughs Ken desperately tried to muffle that morning. His usual golden tanned skin, dull and pale. He continued to watch as the brunette slowly made his way into the crowd, and as one overly happy girl rushed towards him, hands outstretched.

He watched, the brunette's actions dulled, as the girl tightly crashed around his waist in a bear tight hug. He watched as the brunette spasumed, grimacing painfully and quickly pulled the girl away from him.

The girl, puzzled at his strange actions, teared at the eyes, "Kenken?"

Ken slumped forward slightly; clutching his side with his hand; while he grabbed the counter he'd just rounded to steady himself. Holding his side, as much to ease the pain as to hide the blood he could already feel begin to penetrate through his clothes.

"Kenken.. Did.. Did I hurt you?" The girl's eyes became cloudier, filling with tears to the brim.

Aya, still watching, set down the pot of flowers in his hand, stepping away from the customers around him. Taking a cautious step forward.

Ken mustered a smile, still tightly clutching his side as well as the counter; he looked up "No, I'm fine. I'm sorry, could you ask Youji to help you?"

Seemingly satisfied with his false smile, the girl nodded and trotted over to the blonde.

Ken's face fell down, his chocolate locks falling down his face and once again hiding his eyes. Another tremor of pain befalling his body, he sharply inhaled. His death grip upon the counter increasing, his knuckles turning a deathly white shade.

The pain subsiding, he spoke, barely audible in the crowd, "I'm... Taking a break."

Omi, having come to stand beside Aya, looked from the brunette to him in concern as he left The Koneko through the door to the living room. "Is Ken alright?"

"Hn," Torn between following and telling everyone to leave, the red head silently followed after.

Youji looked to Omi, now standing beside the blonde in the red heads trail, "What was all that about?"

"I don't know..."

Youji, silent for a moment, spoke up for all to hear. "Alright, I need everyone who's here just to be here, OUT. If your buying something I'd be more than happy to help you if you have your selection made. Otherwise OUT, were closing!"

Aya positioned himself to follow, looking for the brunette with well-concealed concern. His emotions were always thus, icy and frigid. While he didn't care to show what he could not, his mind searched for answers.

Had he been to rough on him last night? He may not have said anything to Ken, but his own face could have said a thousand words. A thousand words that would always hit to close to the young boys heart. He'd seen the way Ken's chocolate orbs hid away from his own before he'd turned to leave ahead of him that night. The way they hid from his throughout the day, hiding beneath equally chocolate locks. But he'd chosen to ignore it, instead, letting the saddened chocolate orbs resurface in his minds eye to tare at him. Letting the feeling of guilt hide within him.

He'd noticed the subtle little gestures the brunette had made for over a month now. The little smiles that formed across his lips for no apparent reason. The extra care that didn't need to be presented, the small considerations that weren't required handed graciously. They had trickled into his carefully sculpted life. Little by little, melting the perfectly frozen shell he had created around himself, shielding him from the pain he'd already suffered. Shielding him from having that pain return.

He'd left himself behind long ago in the capsule of ice that was somehow beginning to thaw. He hadn't spoken a word to the brunette other than the usual. Nothing to provoke the smiles, or clumsy onslaught. But the shield he had built around himself was beginning to melt, slowly leaving him unprotected. Leaving him susceptible to the feelings he'd once thought he'd abandoned.

His walk turned into brisk jog, as he rounded The Koneko's corner and into the shared living room. His eyes searching for sign of the brunette in the lightless and darkened living quarters.

A low curse came from the stairs above. Trailing, Aya moved to follow after, pausing to consider a hasty retreat when his eyes fell upon something atop the first step. His hand moved downwards, slender fingers lightly touching the warm liquid substance setting into the steps surface. His thumb rolled over his middle finger's tip, smearing the substance as he brought it before his eyes. The smell...

His eyes moved upwards catching the dark trail that followed each step.

_Blood._


	3. Frozen Orchids

Tainted Romance

Chapter III

Frozen Orchid

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part three of seven

_Revised_

Blood.

Aya's eyes ran over the stairs in the darkened light. Blood trailed atop each step, each pool larger than the last. Ken? His mind searched over every possible scenario.

The mission. Ken must have been injured, but how? If the younger assassin had been injured why hadn't he told anyone? It was unlike the brunette to hide things, to keep so distant. He'd been like that ever since last night.. Ken had avoided him at all costs. His eyes solemn and downcast. Aya's mind went to last night, guns pointed from all directions to him. He'd been ambushed. So many were firing, had one hit Ken? Ken hadn't made any move to acknowledge the fact, his body never betrayed him.

His mind replayed the scenario over again, slowing down each move.

Ken.

His movements were fluid, well timed and accurate, as always. But he had seemed off, only by a fraction, his breathing to heavy for such menial exercise when he'd spent hours upon a soccer field and never broken a sweat. But the detail had eluded him, he'd been to busy with his own pride. His own pride for having needed help, and when that help was late...

Aya's chest fell deeply, feeling guilt for having the sense he had had some role in the brunettes current condition.

The key's he'd found upon the garage floor last night... Ken's. It should have been a dead give away, the blood spatter beside them should have told him. Ken would never leave the keys to his bike lying around, much less on the floor. But he'd brushed it aside, the blood... it could have come from fallen from his bugnuks, he'd rationalized.

Ken!

A weak cough fell from upstairs once again, farther from the stairs. Aya's feet came crashing down upon the steps he hastily climbed, avoiding the blood trail as he reached the top. The boy's darkened figure loomed farther down the hall, his heavy breathing apparent despite the distance barrier.

_What's wrong with me? I can't move... I cant breath... I feel like I'm suffocating..._

_Aya... Help me. _

Ken's hand fell to his closed door, steadying himself as his weight fell forward. Another coughing fit suddenly seized control, his chest burning in fierce waves. Weighted legs slowly gave way under him, sinking him to the floor. Red-hot pain lancing through his chest and side, blinding him temporarily.

Ken doubled over, holding himself upright with the arm that didn't desperately clutch the gaping wound across his abdomen. The fits now coming in rapid succession of one another.

"Ken!" Aya was across the hall and kneeling beside the young brunette in a matter of seconds. His arms tentatively wrapping around him protectively, instinctively pulling him to sit upright as his hands brushed across the younger boys white knuckles. Across the warm liquid he'd come across so many times in his life...

_Blood._

Ken fell back across Aya's knees, his eyes closed with pain burning across his face, giving no indication of knowing the red head was their at all.

"OMI!" Aya's voice cried out sharply, breaking through the torturous cough Ken racked.

Aya rocked his body back, pulling the younger athlete closer to him, he let his hand wander down and push aside the chocolate locks settling across his skin. A small gasp escaped his lips, pulling his hand back in reflex brushing against the fevered flesh. His skin was burning.

Still holding the dark haired boy close to his chest as the tense form began to relax, the pain slowly receded, taking with it the uncontrollable fit.

"OMI!" He should have known something was wrong with the younger boy the moment he set eyes upon him this morning. His cheery façade, his energetic bounce, his dancing eyes... All seemed lost. Frantically searching for a way home.

Kens chocking died down, leaving him gasping in shallow breaths and tightly clutching his shirt at his chest.

But he'd left it, letting the lingering feeling of doubt dwell within him, letting it fester.

"Ken! Ken, can you hear me? Hidaka! Wake up!" Aya's pleads went unanswered, the dark brunette had slipped into unconsciousness. Aya pressed down gently against the reopened wound, seeking a way to stop the blood flow. His hands shook against the wound, desperately clinging to the young boy in his lap.

The sound of footfall came to the leading assassin's ears. A blonde head emerging atop the floor. Omi's eyes swept across the scene before him, taking it in with a startled cry, "Ken-kun!" Youji's lanky form appeared a second behind, his glasses sliding from the bridge of his nose with a gasp. "Ken!"

Aya looked to the young blonde with desperation, his leadership gone on the whims of the wind in an instant. His mouth fell down, helplessly drawing breath for words that couldn't find a voice. He needed for the situation to be all right. He needed for everything to be okay... He needed Ken to be okay.

Omi didn't linger long within the hall, disappearing back the way he came only to reappear with the lights flickering to life, lighting the blackened hall and making the blood loss all to clear.

"Damn Aya! He's burning up!" Youji shot back, his hand sliding beneath the boys chocolate strands. Aya looked to him in desperate need of reassurance. Ken had to be all right. He depended on Ken. He'd trusted him. He needed Ken...

Omi settled down beside them, taking out the thick gaze and wrapping from the starch white medical box. Youji disappeared down the stairs, bringing back a bag of ice with a wet cloth and a bottle of something Aya couldn't read.

"Let's move him into his room. Can you lift him Aya?" Omi asked, his voice calm as he stared into the unsteady amethyst eyes. He readily took charge, his leader fallen.

Aya meekly nodded, carefully avoiding the injury and cupping his hands underneath the boy's legs. Gently lifting and carrying him to his bedroom he placed him upon his bed, gently sitting beside him, arms and legs still delicately wrapped around him. Aya kept the smaller form upright, Ken's head fitting perfectly under his chin and against his neck.

Struggling with the boy's shirt, he lifted it overhead, tugging it from golden arms and to the floor to be forgotten. The cold brush of air upon his bare skin sent Ken into an unconscious shiver, his teeth lightly chattering in an attempt to fight the foreboding cold. Aya's arms wrapped tighter around him, attempting to bring his own body heat to the younger boy, he turned to the lanky blonde with unspoken words. Youji turned to leave for warmer blankets.

Omi continued his work on Ken once he'd successfully stopped the blood flow, delicately rewrapping the torn skin once again. With bloodied hands, Omi sighed, lightly leaning back and brushing the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "Done.. I think He'll be okay. But if it had continued to bleed..." Omi didn't voice the rest, finding himself unable to look to the violet eyes so haunted, "Why didn't he tell us? He shouldn't have been riding around in the rain last night with an injury like that...." Omi turned his gaze away from the unconscious brunette looking up to Aya's gazed over eyes. "Aya... you can lay him back down now. I think he'll be okay.." Giving his best smile to the weary leader, the small boy placed his hand upon Aya's knee, breaking Aya's thoughts.

What? Aya's eyes cleared. He looked down to find the unconscious form still in his arms. He was still holding him? 

Slowly pulling away from Ken's warmth, Aya settled the brunette back upon his pillow, gingerly pulling the thick blankets atop him with care as Youji placed the pack of ice and wet cloth atop his head.

"Someone should keep an eye on him." Youji's gaze fell to the amethyst eyes filled with concern he was unable to voice with words. Scooting the youngest boy from the room to follow on his heels, Youji turned, his hand pressed firmly to the doors handle, "Aya.." he paused, unable to find the words the brunettes eyes held for amethyst.

_No push in the right direction._

He'd seen the hidden glares, the lingering eyes. The longing held between encounters. Ken's eyes held everything for the single red head he seemed to only see. His face betrayed nothing, but his eyes.. His eyes showed everything so clear. Why couldn't Aya see? Why couldn't Aya see how he was tearing the young brunette apart inside?

But Aya needed to find this for himself. No matter how much Youji wanted him to see, Aya needed to see for himself. "You can't see the way he looks at you can you?" His voice was a whisper to himself, so low that Youji himself doubted Aya would have heard. Shaking his head, he closed the door, leaving Aya to stand alone in darkness.

"The way he looks at me...?"


	4. Broken shards

Tainted Romance

Chapter IV

'Broken Shards'

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part four of seven

_Revised_

Soft murmurs spilled from the pillow, softly carrying across the darkened room. Night had fallen, and darkness had come, taking away the lingering light that wished to stay. The stars didn't play in the sky, but rather hid in fear behind broken clouds, the moon barely visible in its lonely perch.

Alone, Ken awoke, his eyelids slowly rising to meet darkness in encounter, to a still form in the chair across the room. From the forms features, it looked to be Youji, asleep. Confusion crept through his mind in search of answers.

_"Ken" _the voice recalled in his mind the searing pain that flooded his body and the gentle touch of slender fingers about him as he hit the floor. The touch that seemed to make it all go away. And the overwhelming darkness that suddenly took him away.

A weary hand slid over his stomach, lightly grazing over the freshly bandaged area.

The blood.

His hand again slid to his forehead, befalling the frigid icepack atop his head, and the heated flesh underneath. The answers coming to him at will. That didn't explain how he'd gotten to his bed though. Had Youji carried him? From the way the bandage looked, Omi must have cared for it. Youji's doctoring skills usually left a patient in shabby shape.

Inhaling in a silent sigh, he struggled. The air about him seemed claustrophobic and old, to stale to breathe; his lungs burned. Ignoring his body's protest to drift back to sleep, Ken rose from the bed, slowly sliding his feet to the end of the bed. Pausing for breath, he pushed himself from the beds edge, pulling a shirt silently over his head from the pile of clean clothes at the foot of his bed.

At Youji's feet, Ken crept silently, plucking the brown leather jacket underfoot and grabbing the shoes close at hand to creep from the room in stealth.

With the silent snores reassurance, he closed the door quietly, slipping into the jacket and shoes before weakly clambering past Aya's door and to the stairs upward.

The feel of overwhelming cold overcame him as he ascended the stairs, pausing to fight the wave of dizziness that threatened every so often. But the cold felt good, inviting almost. Sweeping over him with open arms welcomed, he pushed through The Koneko's rooftop door, letting the cold wash over him like broken waves in mid-spring.

The white soft carpet overlapping the rooftop surprised him, biting against his cheeks as it continued to fall.

_Snow.___

Walking to the roofs edge, he stared out over the railing. It had been a while since he'd last seen snow like this. Blanketing everything as far as the eye could see, draping delicately over streetlights and trees. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually felt the tiny snow crystals fall across his cheeks, only to melt into tears. It seemed forever ago. When he'd had a home, a home and a family with people he loved and people who loved him.

But that had been taken away, and nothing he could do would bring that back. It had fallen from his fingers in a single moment of the deepest betrayal… But he had another family now. He had Omi, and Youji, and... Aya.

But this family too seemed only at the tip of his fingers, any movement threatening to take what little grasp of a family he had away from him.

The lingering sadness he'd tried to brush away returned in full force once again, setting heavily upon his heart. Sinking to his knee's he turned to lean against the railing for support as he settled to sit down, lowering his head to rest upon the higher rail to gaze into the hidden stars above and the snowy crystals falling to their deaths.

The look in Aya's amethyst eyes that night over took him.

He didn't want this. He couldn't take it anymore. His heart was falling into pieces in another's hands, slowly, painfully shattering into crystal dust to be blown away with the wind. It hurt so much, this aching feeling, this emptiness that threatened to consume him.

But he wasn't able to see the way he looked at him.

He never would. For all the skills Aya had as an assassin, he wasn't able to see. And he wasn't able to tell him, for if he did, what little he had of a family, would surely disappear forever. And he'd once again be alone. Alone in complete and utter darkness.

But this feeling wasn't leaving, it was only growing stronger.

He wished the sleeping darkness would take him again. There, he didn't have to think, he didn't have to feel. That's all he wanted anymore. Maybe if sleep would take him, he could truly be at peace. He wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. He wouldn't have to feel… He could just sleep.

He didn't hear the rooftops door open again, or the sound of footfall crunch into the unbroken snow. He let his mind fall broken in shatters with every emotion he'd been able to hold.

He couldn't hide it, he loved Aya. He loved him in every way imaginable. His heart longed to melt the icy block shrouding Aya so completely. To be the one Aya would turn to if ever needed. For months, he'd stared from afar, afraid to grow to close to the red head, to afraid of being hurt. But the feelings didn't dissipate, instead continued to grow, consuming him. For weeks afterwards, he'd come to the male to help comfort him after every mission, only to be turned away. For weeks he'd offered any helping hand, only to be refused. In subtle hints he'd given to Aya for his feelings, he'd been rejected. And the pain was growing to become too much. He couldn't take much more. He was slowly breaking inside, slowly destroying himself.

_"He's not worth it, Ken. He's not worth the pain he's causing you." _Youji's words came to mind, the night he'd confronted Ken. He's not worth the pain. _Yotan__, why does it have to be this way? What is it that isn't enough for him? Why can't I be the one he comes to when he needs someone... I only wanted to be that person Yotan.. Why…_

"Ken?" A voice interrupted his thoughts, the sound of breaking footfall becoming apparent. Who's voice his mind asked? His eyes didn't care. He was broken.

"Ken? What are you doing out here"

Aya's voice… Was that worry he could hear? No... Aya didn't worry.

The words seemed almost distant, and far away; the fever must be returning, his head spun. But he didn't care; all thoughts had fallen out of reach from him, lingering within his sight to taunt.

Ken raised his head from the bar it had fallen against, keeping his gaze to the snow-covered floor in which he sat. A hand appeared in his line of vision, brushing under his chocolate strands and against his forehead, "You're still sick Ken, you shouldn't be out here."

Ken batted his hand away weakly, his voice softly spoken in the wind, "I'm fine."

"Quit being such an ass Ken, get up! I don't exactly feel like dragging you back downstairs." The voices owner suddenly registered in his mind, batting away its original theory.

"I'm fine Youji, I don't need a babysitter."

A single slender eyebrow rose, "Like hell you don't. With the kind of stunt you pulled, hell you don't! Ken, why didn't you tell us?" Ken didn't answer, unable to meet the eyes searching for his. Why didn't he tell him what? His hand slid to his abdomen, lying overtop it gently. That he'd been hurt? Why…

To see Aya's endearing eyes? To his ever haunting voice? To the words that would cause him so much pain; the words that would tell of his failure to his team, to Aya. The words that would tell of his weakness; berating him, destroying him.

A soft sigh escaped above him, as Youji slid slender fingers through his unkempt blonde hair. His lit cigarette fell from his mouth, smoke escaping through parted lips as he stomped the cigarette into the tarnished snow. "Ken-"

"Is he angry?"

Youji blinked in confusion, "Aya?" Understanding hitting him at once, his voice softened as he slid to sit down beside the broken brunette "No..." He shook his head sadly.

"Don't lie… You're a horrible liar Yo-tan." Ken's voice broke, and his head fell to Youji's shoulder, seeking comfort in the tall blonde. "I can't do this. I can't do this anymore." Unbidden tears fell freely from behind closed eyes, as the boy sank into oblivion. "I'm so tired Youji. I'm so tired."

Youji's eyes saddened behind darkened glasses, as his arm gently wrapped around the trembling form against him, "Ken…" The lost broken form beside him was so shattered he feared there wasn't a way to reach him, he felt so far gone. Youji desperately searched for a way to bring him back. Bring back the smiling boy so in love with life, so in love with everything life could offer. But the boy only seemed to slip farther away from everything holding him here, any and all words of comfort lost with each fallen snowflake

The unbidden sobs died as the boy slipped into a state of half consciousness and unconsciousness and his surroundings became unclear. Drawing the fragile form closer to him, Youji gently lifted the younger boy into his arms and carried him from the frozen rooftop and into the warmth inside.

Checking the bandages to see the boy hadn't reopened the wound across his abdomen; he pulled the thick layers of blankets atop him and kneeled beside him, brushing the stray strands from the brunette's eyes. "Ken, before … I wasn't lying…Ken.. You should have seen him. He was so lost today. He couldn't think straight, he was so lost without you Ken." Youji's whispered tone fell to the boy he believed to be asleep, and with a sad smile, he rose to leave, leaving the single tear that fell from the brunettes eyes, unnoticed.


	5. Silence

Tainted Romance

Chapter V

'Silence'

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part five of seven

_Revised_

A gentle knock rapped against the door, disturbing the quiet air in which Ken was surrounded. He stirred from his sleep, opening a single eye to fall against the white wall before him in which the bed was pushed against. From the window, morning light seeped through the closed blinds, spilling atop the beds head and warming its sheets.

He stifled a cry and wrapped himself tighter in the blanketed cocoon he had created in his sleep, pulling the comforter above his head to surround himself in darkness again.

He didn't want to be awake, he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep away in the darkness that comforted him, into forever. But even his sleep had been taunting him, throwing painful memories into his minds eye, and recalling past incidents in which he fought to forget. Even imagined plays his nightmares created.

Another knock rapped against the door, louder. He cringed beneath the blankets and suppressed a growl; least the person figure out he was awake. Maybe they'd just go away, he thought puffing a breath of air.

"Ken-Kun?" The unlocked door slowly opened with the third knock, and a body stepped in and around the door. "Ken-kun?"

Ken stayed silent, hopeful that the young blonde would leave soon. He didn't want to be bothered; he just wanted to be left alone.

_What time was it any ways?_ If it was Saturday, why did Omi want him on a day they didn't have to work?

He heard the silent sigh and the feet that treaded towards him, placing something on the bedside stand beside him with a soft thud. The room remained silent a moment as the boy seemed to contemplate waking him. Deciding against it, he retreated from the room with a quiet click of the doors closing.

Ken opened his eyes from under the blankets, having been unable to bring himself to confront the boy.

He shifted in his cocoon; curiosity overtaking his interest to snuggle in the thick blankets warmth back to sleep. Slowly squirming from the blankets cave to pull the blanket from his head, he peaked over it, turning towards the bedside stand to the objects set down.

A tray.

Steam rose from the red porcelain centered bowl, the metallic spoon to its right reflecting the morning sun as it came through the window. Half a sandwich lay to the bowls right, a napkin folded neatly underneath and a glass of juice to the top.

It was too neat, he decided.

He shuffled back under the covers.

Youji was incapable of such neatness, and while Omi certainly was, he doubted very much that the boy had gone to the trouble of setting it perfectly. Aya was the only one who self-consciously perfected everything... Aya.

Oh no.

He growled, and shut his eyes tightly together, running a hand self-consciously over his abdomen. Rummaging over the soft ridges of the cotton fabric, he blinked.

Fresh bandages tied about him.

His mind questioned his conclusion. Had someone re-bandaged the area while he was asleep? Was that possible? He had never been much of a heavy sleeper; he could thank his decision in professions for that. He supposed the painkillers could knock you out enough to not know. He growled again. His stomach responded back loudly.

Another knock came from the door, this time harder. Ken pulled tighter into the curled up position he held on his side. What was it with these people, couldn't they just leave him alone in peace! He fought the temptation to hurtle something in the doors direction, or spout foreign words to the person behind it. No, he thought, that would tell them he was awake. And that in turn would lead to questions. Questions he didn't want to answer.

This time the person didn't wait to knock a second time, but choose to let himself in.

The smell of nicotine pressed strongly against him seconds after the door opened as he attempted to seclude himself farther within the cocoon. Silent a moment before treading across the room, the figures form pressed down against his bed, sitting to Ken's back.

Ken pulled the blankets tighter about him, scowling underneath them.

"I know your awake, Ken. Are you going to stay in here the rest of your life?" Youji's placed a hand atop the blanket, gently pulling down what covered the younger boys head past his shoulders.

Ken sighed and opened his eyes, still facing the wall. No use pretending he still wasn't awake, knowing Youji even if he hadn't been awake, he was liable to strangle him to death trying to wake him. Not exactly what he had in mind for his death.

Youji smiled down upon him, running his hand underneath his sweaty chocolate bangs. "How you feelin?" he paused, taking a minute to feel his own forehead in comparison, "Hm, You don't feel like you have a fever anymore, that's good. You've been out for a day and a half; we were starting to get worried about you."

Ken's head snapped to Youji, a day and a half? What about his shift at the Kenoko, why hadn't anyone woken him?

"Don't worry, Aya took your shifts. You're not scheduled to work for another couple of days, you freeloader, Aya and Omi wouldn't here of it. Yes that's right, I did say Aya, the little stoic bastard does have some heart in him yah know. "

Aya had taken his shifts at the Koneko?

_But..._

_But why?_

Aya hated him, he was sure of it. The way he constantly pushed him away, the deathly cold glares and... and the last mission. He'd screwed up and Aya hated him for it. What little trust Aya may have finally put in him at been gone within that instant. There wasn't any way Aya didn't hate him now, and he didn't know why he didn't hear faint shi-ne's resounding throughout the building as the red-head plotted his death.

Youji's eyes wandered about the apartment, taking in the messy atmosphere his eyes fell to the floor where his feet rested. His eyes twitched, "Have you ever thought of cleaning Kenken?" He asked in disgust, lifting his feet rapidly when he swore something moved beneath them. "Really."

"Youji I'm fine, you can leave now." Ken moved from his curled position to sit upright against the headboard, running a hand through his damp hair. "Besides, you reek of smoke. Leave."

Youji raised a slender brow in retort, "And your one to talk, look at you."

Ken's eyes narrowed, "Out!"

"Shesh, is this what I get for being such a good friend? Here I come to check on you, taking time out of my busy schedule! Do you know how many dates I had to cancel because of you? Huh? I mean I could be-"

"Get out!" Ken interrupted; desperately attempting to avoid Youji's many sex stories.

"You wound me!" Youji moved up from the bed, holding his hands to his heart and taking a step back. Ken growled, his voice rising with anger, "GET OUT!"

Youji just laughed in contempt, taking yet another step backwards from the now seething brunette.

"Youji! Get the fuck out!" his pillow billowed past the blonde now at his doorway, and into the hallway. Youji's laughter died with his surprise, the pillow barely missing him. Ken prepared a second to launch when Youji gave a quick smirk and closed the door securely behind him.

_But why..._

* * *

From downstairs, Omi sweat dropped, the sounds of hurtling objects could be clearly heard smashing into obstacles within its path. The person throwing the objects could be heard even clearer through thin walls and the floor above them. The second voice was slightly smaller in tone with a startled cry of words he'd rather not repeat, loud enough however for all to hear in the Koneko.

Omi turned to Aya, wrapping a small bouquet of flowers for an elderly lady at the counter, his attention drawn away from his task at hand for the briefest of seconds towards the bellowing sounds upstairs.

The smallest of smiles splayed across his lips for an instant before the red head turned back to his task.

"Sounds like Ken-kuns alright! Although I'm not to sure about Youji!" He laughed, taking pleasure in seeing a smile across Aya's face, even if it was a small one. The stoic leader had become utterly silent in the last few days. Almost non-existent, worse so than his usually self; he wouldn't even yell at Youji for any of his faults. But the sound of Ken's voice seemed to bring a bit of spark back to him, and he moved much more gracefully, and he seemed... Happy.

Omi turned back to preparing the display case as Youji entered the store, rubbing the back of his neck. "Damn, he may be hurt but he's still one big pain in the ass if you ask me."

"Youji." Omi lowered his voice in disapproval, sending an equally disapproving glare over his shoulder.

"Right, right."

"Get back to work Koudo." Aya's voice spoke breaking the conflict rising between the two. Youji blinked with widened eyes, "He speaks!"

But the reality was Youji was right. It had been days since Aya had said anything... Days since... Ken's accident. Even the smallest of remarks never graced his lips, his voice never passing through them. He remained silent and stoic.

Aya chose to ignore the comment and returned to his work. Omi on the other hand let a hand linger above the flowers he was working with before turning to Youji, "Youji... did he eat what I brought up?"

Youji remained silent a moment, lowering his gaze to the floor, "Sorry chibi... I didn't look." In truth he had looked, and been rather angered at the fact that the stubborn brunette hadn't eaten anything; he'd only curled up and gone back to sleep. But he didn't want to worry the young blonde any more than he already was about him. Omi had a tendency to be rather over protective, like a mother, always worried about those around him.

Omi nodded.

* * *

It was another few hours before Ken finally mustered up the courage to leave his room. Having taken a shower and eating what was laid before him, despite the personal preference as to who made it hunger finally over powered him, and he emerged silently from his room; still hungry and in search of more food.

Looking to the clock, he noted that the others would still be in the shop a bit longer as they started to close for the night. He should be able to grab something from the fridge and high tail it back upstairs before they left the shop, he thought. He ran a hand through his shower damp hair, he didn't know what was worse, the fact that he was hiding, or the pain within him. And he felt weak for it.

Walking down the stairs, he paused for a break at the stairs base. All this movement had taken a bit out of him for his body still felt weak and frail. This wouldn't do he decided, he'd never been one for weakness; he'd have to build his strength back up, and the sooner the better. He didn't like feeling vulnerable.

Finding the kitchen empty he leapt for the fridge, his stomach growling with anticipation despite the food that he had already eaten. What he found was not what he was looking forward to.

The fridge was empty.

Besides half empty bottles of his sports drinks and two jugs of milk the fridge was almost barren. Nothing even remotely suitable for eating existed in the starch white fridge.

_There's nothing here_, he sighed in frustration, still rummaging through its scattered contents with a desperate hope that he might salvage something from it. He sighed for a second time when his attempts failed, grabbing one of his sports drinks to down.

"Ken-kun!" The overenthusiastic boy's voice sent the contents in his mouth spewing across him as he turned to spray the boy in the face. He coughed and would have stood in embarrassment if he hadn't chocked on the liquids that had made its way down his throat. Coughing in fits he ran to the sink and stood over it, letting the liquid that trickled down his chin settle into the sink.

Omi stood with an eyebrow raised as he kept his gaze to where Ken had once been. He commented to himself, _Nice to see you too, Ken-kun._

Hearing the fits of coughing, Aya and Youji had leapt from the now closed store and into the connecting kitchen, leaving brooms to clatter to the floor. Worried expressions of fear crossed them as they recognized the voice chocking in fits.

"Ken!" Their voices rose in unison, and stopped short at the sight before them. Omi still stood centered in the kitchen; dripping with a yellow liquid, while Ken hovered over the sink.

His fit dying down, Ken turned back to the not so amused boy he'd sprayed. "SHIT! Don't do that Omi!" He let another cough slide.

"Nice greeting, Ken." Youji laughed quite amused at the situation as he came to understand. Grabbing a towel from the counter he rubbed down the younger boy still silent before he roared beneath it. "I'm all sticky! Ken!"

Ken quirked half a smile, embarrassed he scratched the back of his head, "Sorry, Omittichi, but didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people like that?" his voice squeaked.

"Hm." Omi's bemused face fell with the towel as he wiped his face clean, "Any ways, I'm glad to see your up. Are you feeling any better? Did you eat what I brought up for you? Aya made it, so it should be good."

Ken's happy façade dropped slightly and his eyes turned away from the gaze the others held upon him. His voice became soft and transparent, "... Yeah, Omi... ."

So Aya had made the food; his stomach felt light suddenly.

"So you ate then? Are you still hungry? We weren't sure if you'd be all that hungry or not when you got up, but from finding you in the fridge I'd guess you still are." Omi's genki spirit returned full swing, "What would you like to eat?"

"Omi... that's okay... I can go out and get something myself." He made to move, and had successfully padded, despite his weariness, across the kitchen when Youji's appeared behind him, his slender finger pocking his side. Ken's eyes widened and a large rasping gasp escaped from his lips as he leaned forward to clutch the wall. Letting the pain subside an instant before turning on edge, he raged "Youji! What the fuck was that for?!"

The blonde's eyebrow quirked, "Just testing something. Doesn't look like your going anywhere. You can barely make it across the kitchen, let alone across town. Ken you're a horrible liar, even if you're not saying anything. Your steps were slow and practiced. You wouldn't make it out the door without collapsing from exhaustion. You've been sick for three days Ken; you're injured and can barely move. You can't expect to get out of bed and suddenly be okay. It doesn't work like that, Ken." He crossed his arms, looking for defiance in the younger brunette eyes.

And it came.

Ken growled, clenching right fist angrily, "Fuck off!"

"Love to." He crooked a smile. He was willing to play Kens little game, just as long as no one got hurt, but he sighed drawing this game to an abrupt end. "Why don't we all go out and grab something to eat, huh? We can take Seven, that way your not being treated like a child, and we don't have to worry about you walking around town in your condition."

"Whatever, I'm not hungry anymore."

Youji's glasses slid from the brim of his nose, his eyes rolling up in frustration. "What, so you can stay here while were gone and sneak out? I don't think so; quit being a pain in the ass Ken."

Aya stepped forward, letting his presence be known and taking full charge of the situation, something he hadn't done in days. "Enough."

From the rack, he quickly grabbed two coats, his own and a dark brown leather jacket. Forcing the jackets underneath one arm, he firmly placed his hand around Kens arm, pulling the boy along with him into the garage. "You're coming with us."

The red head left no room for argument, and the others followed suit behind silently in observation. Ken followed in a state of shock, unable to force movement upon his jaw, or find his own voice still hiding. Instead, his feet moved unwillingly behind Aya as he was dragged firmly but gently behind the silent red head.

Being this close to him, Ken could feel color rise to his cheeks in a slight blush. He could sense the warmth Aya's body presented close to his, and the gentle grip upon his arm unyielding.

It was when they reached the car Ken noticed it. His jacket, it should be soiled with blood, he couldn't wear it, someone would see it. His eyes widened in shock as his eyes searched over the leather inside and out. Nothing. Not even a drop of blood smeared the outside. His hands roamed the inside pulling the jackets flaps wrapped around him to where he could see.

Not a drop.

Not a drop of blood could visible be seen anywhere on his jacket. His mind wavered; his jacket should be coated in it down to the very last inch of its fabric with his own blood, and others. His brows furrowed in confusion, had someone cleaned it? But who... Omi?

Aya saw the teen's confused expression and the thorough inspection of his favorite jacket. "I cleaned it."

Ken's looked to him in confusion, Aya's eyes never turning to return the glance as he pushed them both into the cars back seat. Yet he remained a silent prisoner on the trip, leaving Omi and Youji to their idle chatter in the front seat. He sat in his back seat as close to the door as he could get, his elbow propped upon the door and his non-existent glare directed out the window in thought.

Aya noticed this.

The way the brunette flinched at his touch and froze, and how his body seemed to scream to get away as he positioned himself all to close to the door in the car. Did he scare him that much?

His heart fell.

He knew he was distant and rather avoidant at times, but did he really scare Ken? Or was it something else... What Youji had said? Ken seemed surprised to Aya's choice of seating, the red head would usually have taken seat up front and leave the two younger boys to find seats within the back. Why _did_ he choose to sit behind rather than up front, he questioned himself? Was there a reason, or had it just been reflex to sit with someone that was injured, as a way of somehow protecting them?

No. Ken was in no danger. The only threat he posed was exhausting himself, and that didn't seem to likely with the three of them around. But still...

"This place good?" Youji's voice penetrated through his thoughts as Seven pulled into the restaurants parking lot.

The sun had long since fallen bellow the horizon, and given way to the blanketed darkness and shimmering stars. Street lamps and buildings lit the busy city, glittering with dancing lights. The restaurant itself was darkly lit, the outside giving off a rather gloomy vibe to an all too luxurious restaurant. Neon green lights pulled around the buildings base, lighting the walkway to one side.

Pulling into an empty space, Youji turned his head over his shoulder, looking to Aya, who nodded, and to Ken in particular. "Well Kenken?"

Ken didn't dignify himself with a response; his hand was already at the doors handle and pushing himself out, promptly removing himself from the cars current occupants. Youji sighed giving a glance to the others before following pursuit, "This place it is then."

At the restaurants front Ken waited impatiently, his body leaning carefully up against the side, away from the busy intersection of traffic passing. The hostess currently on duty looked in awkward need of help, her questions unanswered by the silent brunette. Ken's happy façade diminished. Even Aya's cold demeanor would have been welcomed.

At Youji's entrance, she turned in relief, Youji briefly apologizing for the younger boy's behavior. The young hostess quickly bowed and invited them to a current seating available within the confines of the restaurants darker corner.

Seating them quickly, the young girl once again bowed and left saying the waitress would be here shortly. Ken shifted into the booths confines, seating himself to the booths right inside, Youji directly across from him and Omi following him into the booth beside him.

Aya paused before seating himself beside Ken, feeling rather awkward at the moment. If this upset Ken, he made no notion to protest, he simply positioned himself comfortably within the booth and closed his eyes and folded his arms lightly over his chest.

"Youji, what is this place? Have you been here before?" Across from him, Omi's eyes wandered in amusement, taking in the restaurants scenery in detail, his assassin skills never leaving him.

"Ne, chibi. I heard about it from a few friends. I hear the lady's love it."

"Youji!" Omi's eyes fell back to the tables inside left inhabitant angrily. Youji ruffled his hair in amusement, "Would you rather I take you to one of the clubs I frequent?" Omi's angry glare soon faded, a small-reddened blush sprinkling across his nose, "No!"

"Hai, I thought so." Youji smirked having satisfied the urge to taunt the innocent blonde, one of his favorite games. The way his blush spread across the bridge of his nose into a dark crimson got him every time. He didn't know how someone could blush so much just at the mention of sex. It was almost as fun as teasing poor Ken, the way he blushed he practically glowed like it was midnight and not a light could be seen for miles. They were too cute! He laughed a little to himself, reaching into the front pocket of his slacks for his box of cigarettes. He chose to ignore the piercing glare Aya sent his way as he lifted a single cigarette to his lips to light it. He let the flame flicker within the lighter a little longer than needed, watching in fascination as the light battled the shadows across Ken's downcast face.

_Damn. _His heart fell knowing the pain he was in. He couldn't take it knowing his best friend was in so much turmoil inside. You could see it in the way he moved, you could see it on his lips, how they never truly parted in a smile of happiness, but the way his eyes lingered briefly on the person beside him, only to forcefully tare themselves away because of the throbbing lull inside of his heart haunted Youji the most.

How was it possible that he couldn't see, how was it so oblivious to the one it really mattered to? With all their training, and all their skills, how was it not possible for him to see such pain in the eyes of a person he spent every day with?

They were supposed to be friends, teammates. They depended upon each other, they trusted each other with their lives, and they were supposed to be able to read one another like an open book. How could Aya not read the pages Ken so clearly held before him, dusted with dry tears, and tears still to be shed? Ken had with the last of himself offered all of what he had to the silent figure so cold, only to be shut and put away upon the bookshelf like something not worth reading. Not seeing the adventure that lay inside its frail pages, the extraordinary journey it promised in its busied and battered confines.

"_He's not worth it, Ken. He's not worth the pain he's causing you."_ He could tell him forever, let him listen for an eternity, and he would hear... but his heart would not.

"What are you having Youji-kun?" The Genki voice cascaded over him from his waterfall of thoughts.

"Ne, Omi?"

"On the menu, what are you going to have?" The boy's enthusiastic eyes light preciously in the dim lit room, swallowing him in a pool of innocence. Shaking all thoughts from his head for the moment, he reached for the menu before him, looking with feigned interest. "I don't know Omittichi, why don't you order for me? I'll have whatever you're having." He smiled to the younger boy once again, as the waitress arrived.

"Aya-kun, Ken-kun, are you ready to order?"

"Hn," Aya's typical reply was followed with a short nod of his head.

"Ken-kun?" Turning to the saddened brunette, Omi frowned. Ken had slumped over in his seat, using the table as a prop he had laid his upper arm across the table, resting his head in the palm of his hand, leaving his eyes hidden from sight behind locks of chocolate strands. "Ken-kun..." He sighed before greeting the solemn waitress at their table's head.

Dinner went by in a dazed silence; the three eating quietly while Ken remained stationary. The brunette had utterly and completely refused to eat, speak or even move for the duration of the meal. As far as he was concerned, he was being held against his will, as if he were some prisoner in medieval times. He hadn't said one word to any of them since he'd been forced into the car.

Omi fingered the food on his plate with his fork, gently playing with it in thought. He wished he knew what was going on with Ken, he wanted to know, he wanted to help. But the older male was pulling away, and secluding himself, and it hurt to see him in such pain. But what was it that was causing his friend so much pain?

"Okay, chibi?" Youji asked, between finished bits of pasta.

"Huh? Yeah." Omi smiled.

The rest of the meal Youji chatted on meaningless subjects with Omi, with a nod or shake from Aya every once in a while. When they had finished, Aya stayed behind to pay the bill sending the others to wait in the car for him. He joined them ten minutes later, which seemed rather odd to Omi. The line didn't seem busy at the checkout, in fact if he recalled correctly, there hadn't been anyone there. Odder, Aya carried with him a white to go bag at his side; he didn't think Aya had left enough leftovers to bring back with him. He shrugged the thoughts from his mind. Aya was Aya, there was no sense in questioning him, the most you would get from him was an 'hn' and a cold stare.

Like the meal, the ride home was left in silence, save for the soft melody's Youji played from the radio. Once home, Ken exited the car and made his way across the garage into the building. Omi watched him in helplessness.

"Well, I think I'm going to hit the sack for the night. Goodnight all, it has been a most lovely evening I must say. We must do it again." Youji's little snickering turned into a large yawn once within the building.

"I think I'm going to hit the sack too, Goodnight Aya-kun." Waving in the darkness Omi left Aya to follow Youji up to their floor level.

"Goodnight." He waited for the fall of their footsteps to become silent and the clicking of doors to sound before he went off in his search. Noting the faint sound of conversation leaking from the living quarters, Aya followed it, noting too the soft flickers of gray light that fell into the hall.

Ken had made his way into the living room, where he now rested comfortable upon the couch, his eyes fixed to an old soccer game playing within the VCR.

Ken heard the silent footfall of the figure hesitating within the hallway and ignored it, his body tensing slightly. Once the figure decided in his movements, he came forward to him expressionless. With the slightest of hand movements he set the bag he held down gently upon the coffee table before quietly leaving without a word.

Ken pondered for a moment as he eyed the white bag before him. Bold black letters labeled in its folds, tiny beads of sweat forming within its inside walls. His eyes narrowed slightly and he let his feet drop from the propped up position they held upon the coffee table. Leaning forward he reached for the bag, pulling back in hesitation.

What was inside?

This was ridiculous; it wasn't as if it was a bomb. Aya wouldn't do that... would he? A tiny mental picture formed in his minds eye, Aya's not so inviting katana swinging madly in the air as its owner chased him with violent eyes. He twitched and his eyes fell.

Breathing in deeply, he pulled down at the bags corner, finding a large cylinder container left within it. Reaching for the container, he pulled the plastic lid from its top. Steam rose.

Food.

Aya had brought him food.


	6. Sleeping Gentian

Tainted Romance

Chapter VI

'Sleeping Gentian'

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part six of seven

_Revised_

_Well this is fun_; Ken arched a brow and threw the chair beneath him into spin.

The sun outside shone brightly overhead, streaming vibrantly through The Koneko's shop windows. Inside its little shop, the brunette sat dully amused behind the counter as Omi worked diligently re-arranging displays and pottery. Brief and crisp chills of air swept through the shops small enclosure when a figure happened to drop by, sending its occupants into a frenzied search for a warmer corner. Not many people visited the tiny shop, and fewer people bought flowers on such a day.

On the ground snow still lightly sprinkled across Japans winter land from its last snowstorm. The snow-covered streets had turned to slush long before morning and dried a little after half past noon. But the children distraught from the melting snow would soon be cheered, tonight was to be one of the coldest, bringing a whirlwind of fresh snow with it.

Ken let his feet drop to the floor and skid with the chairs motion until he came to a complete stop. He sighed and pushed the chair back to the desk with his feet, throwing his arms atop it to rest his head on them. He eyed the outside longingly from inside, and muffled a small grunt of annoyance.

This wouldn't do, he growled, he'd been stuck inside for the last few day's. He couldn't take it anymore, he wanted out. He felt like some criminal in someone's game of cruel and unusual punishment. He longed to run outside on the soccer field and practice, even if just for an hour. But the truth was he had three captors playing this little game of cruel punishment, keeping him locked away. And being stuck inside the small building he was running out of things to do.

There was only so long one could sit before the television watching soccer before wanting to actually enjoy it for yourself. So they had banned him from it. You should have seen the hell he put up for it; it took all three of them to pin him down. They got their revenge though; he ended up reopening half of his injury in the process.

He could train in the weight room for a total of twenty minutes before someone would come and stop him. He was being treated like a child, and he was annoyed.

They'd pull him by his ear or his hair until he stopped whatever he was in the process of doing, but he'd only wait for another hour until he went back to what he was doing once again. Only to repeat the process all over again. He'd torn some muscles in his abdomen when he'd been cut, and building them back up was his number one priority. He would not be weak.

He knew they were only trying to refrain him from over exerting himself, but he didn't see it happening, he knew his limits.

But the truth was working out kept him busy, even if just a bit, it kept him from feeling. Anything, anything to get away from the pain that weighted so heavily within him. The turmoil that raged within his heart and the utter and complete depression that battled to take control. And testing his limits, gaining strength, it helped him cope. If he could only grow stronger, maybe then he wouldn't feel…

Ken flipped his head to lie on its right side and watched Omi lazily. Aya and Youji were off for today, and he had insisted on taking his shifts up once again. They hadn't put up much of a fuss considering it was one of their slower days, but that still didn't stop a few protests from slipping out.

He fiddled with the role of duck tape beside him, pushing it forward with his fingers like a hockey puck. If he could somehow get past Omi, he'd be free and out that door in a matter of seconds. However, getting past Omi was the problem; the kid had eyes in the back of his head for god's sake! Any little movement he made, Omi stilled and listened like a cat with a homing beacon on him.

It shouldn't be too hard, he thought to himself, Omi was much lighter than him in weight and strength. All he had to do was catch him with the element of surprise, and he'd be free!

"Hey Ken, can you help me in the back?" Omi's voice broke through his train of concentration.

A grin slowly spread across his face, enlightened. "Yeah, Omi."

This was too easy! His heart beat with excitement as he silently pulled the wheeled chair behind him, grabbing the role of duck tape in the process. His grin widened.

However, his conscious baited him, in a way he almost felt sorry for poor Omi. It would be a couple of hours before anyone came down into the shop to find him. With the last shift he'd be lucky if he was found at all, he snickered. No, that wasn't right; Aya always came to check the shop before closing, even if it was just a quick look.

He slowly closed the storage room's door behind him, leaving him, Omi, the chair and the role of duck tape closed away from the outside. If Omi hollered from in here, no one would hear. He should know he spent two hours stuck in there last summer when he accidentally locked himself in.

Giving a last sigh through a mischievous grin, he gave Omi a short forewarning "Sorry Omi."

The boy didn't look up from his crouched position before several stacked pots as he took inventory. "Huh? For what Ken-kun?"

"Ken-kun? …"

* * *

Three days of prison and he was free, even if it was a jailbreak, the consequences would be well worth the few hours of freedom he now had. He jogged around the corner, stretching his arms widely in the open sky above him, his jacket flapping lightly in the wind. He wanted to feel the wind in his hair again, and he momentarily debated grabbing his bike from the garage. Finding the chances slim without being caught, he opted to jog to the soccer field and around the park, and maybe grabbing something from the café down the street on the way back.

He laughed and jumped.

* * *

Omi seethed with anger, not only had he been left with inventory duty but he'd been left to watch Ken and been duck tapped to the chair in the process! He hadn't even let his guard down, and Ken had still managed to gain the element of surprise! And his opponent was injured! Some assassin skills he possessed.

He cried out again despite the bandana gagged within his mouth, muffling any sound that protruded. Hopping the chair along with his bound feet towards the back door to the den he turned the chairs back to it. Pushing from the wall at an angle, he rammed the chair's back against the door repeatedly, adding his muted cries in hopes of grabbing the inside occupants attention.

They should have taken his advice and tranqed Ken when he continually tried to over exert himself.

His attempts at the door promptly stopped, his eyes widening.

They'd slipped a painkiller in with Ken's lunch this afternoon, for that exact reason... It would only take a little longer before it really started to kick in, if it already hadn't.

Omi pushed himself against the door forcefully, the door clattering back loudly in hostility. If Ken blacked out on the street… He forced his voice through the handkerchief in a roar and pulled back to strike against the door again.

* * *

Youji fumed angrily in his bed, throwing his pillow atop his head to drown the clattering chaos surrounding him. His head ached from the previous night's hangover he still hadn't recovered from. Curling up tighter beneath the silken blankets, the rumbling continued, shaking the contents of his room.

"What the Fuck!" His shout growled from beneath his pillow. Sitting upright hastily, he watched as the glass ashtray placed at the corner of his nightstand wobbled to its end and shatter to the floor.

He ran a hand through his unkempt blonde hair, and angrily pulled a pair of sweat pants on. Reaching for the door handle he stepped from his room, almost colliding with a figure similar in height. Aya looked to him in question before thundering down the stairs. Youji followed in pursuit.

The noise emanated from the shops door accessing the kitchen. Youji pushed the door open an inch before it was abruptly slammed back in place, nearly missing his fingers. Trying again, he pushed forcibly against the door, pushing the blockade back away from the access way.

Muffled cries murmured relentlessly in effort as he peered around the door.

"OMI!" Youji's shock sent Aya pushing the door farther to open, sending Omi rolling across the floor on the wheeled chair. Omi's hair splayed disheveled atop his head, his eyes frantic and wide. "What the fuck happened?!"

Youji rushed to his side and knelt beside him, taking the stuffed bandana from his mouth.

"Ken!" Youji immediately regretted his course of action, Omi's words blared into his ear at maximum capacity. Blinking and rubbing his ear, he shook his head. "A little louder Omi, I think I can still hear out of this ear."

"That ass hole! He tied me up and left me here!" he abruptly changed tracks, "Youji! We gave him that painkiller this afternoon! It hasn't kicked in yet! He'll over exert himself and black out on the street! Or in the middle of the street! Things get disoriented with that type of painkiller! -" Omi managed to voice his statement between gasps of air as his rapid breathing returned to normal.

"Ken." The name was left silently said as the stoic voices owner sprinted from the shop, the door chime laughing deliriously in abuse.

"Wait! Aya!"

* * *

Ken breathed in heavily, relishing in his newly regained freedom when a yawn suddenly fell across his mouth. He frowned in annoyance, how could be tired with so little activity in the last three days? He shook his head, trying to clear it of any notion of sleep. He was finally free, he'd had three days locked inside with nothing but sleep, how could he possibly be tired? With the thought of so much sleep in the last few days, he concluded that his body must have gained a new routine for itself in the short time he'd been out.

Letting his body fall to his knees in a sudden dissension, he stretched out his legs, using muscles he hadn't in the past few days. His mind wandered to what his previous events consisted of; Sleeping, eating, and sleeping a little more. No wonder his body had placed itself in a new routine.

He scowled as he pulled his left arm over his shoulder. He would just have to get his body back into its normal routine, and warming up was the first step. With full five-minute stretch, he placed his feet against the cement walkway and breathed in heavily before pushing off.

His jacket flapped lightly at his sides as he ran and the cold air pierced his lungs, cutting against his cheeks as he broke through it. Cautiously he slid a hand under his jacket and against his skin, sliding over the bandaged area. Finding that the area wasn't stressed he continued in his jog, picking up in pace in the slightest.

The cold air felt good, despite the lack of sunlight the day was beginning to show. Breathing in rhythm, he checked his watch. He still had time before the sun slipped behind the horizon for the night. He rounded the corner; continually aware of any weariness should his body show. But despite the still new wound, he could find none, except for the lingering objection for sleep his body seemed to display.

Within the park, couples walked in peaceful bliss around the park and in loitering areas. Hands clasped, and eyes that held admiration for no one but the one they loved. Laughs echoed in silent love at little gestures and returned affection. The silent gestures that meant so much…

At every glance, or turn, lovers sat, entwined in each other's presence. Ken's feet suddenly stopped and his eyed wandered. A strange panic set in, emanating from his chest. Once more his heart weighted down heavily, after trying so hard to let it go. He turned with a small-saddened smile, forced. Why was this affecting him so much? He saw these people everyday; he encountered the same actions from unknown people as they passed, continuing in their everyday life. But why was it now that it suddenly seemed to mean so much, these little affectionate gestures? Why was it now that he noticed?

_No… I can't…_

He could feel his legs start to ache as he continued upon his path, never decreasing in pace, yet never increasing, he continued. He couldn't stop, he didn't want to stop. Stopping meant thinking, and thinking was something he would not allow himself. For if he thought, he thought only of _him_, and everything he, himself, had done wrong. He wanted to be away, away from everything and everyone; where he could hide within the shadows in the darkness that always followed him. He would finally surrender and let it take him. Then it would be gone, every emotion that ever plagued him…

His legs continued to pound against the cement as he ran, and the ache from his legs rose, his sides now reacting to the pain. But he didn't stop, not even when the pain reached the knife wound, he didn't stop. When he was running he could concentrate on one thing and one thing only. The breathing and the rhythm he created. He could let it lull him, sooth him into comfort. He didn't have to think.

Just a little farther was the darkness he sought; just a hand span away, if he could only grasp it…But it seemed to always slip away just as it was within his grasp. Slip away between his fingers, and dissipate within his sight. _No…_

His throbbing legs sought relief in desperation, his sides craved it, and he finally gave in. He couldn't control anything; nothing within his life could he change. Everything fell just as it was within his reach; just as he had managed to grab it… it slipped away from him, into nothing.

But he needed something; he needed something to hold on to. He needed someone to keep him here. What was he here for? Was his life solely for the purpose of killing?

With the life he held he deserved no happiness, he knew that. But in his life he knew no happiness, and he had held none.

And so, he ran. Away from the people that returned everything he fought to block away. He ran, trying to escape the blinding pain that seared through him. He ran as if the faster he ran, the faster he could escape it all.

And until he finally found himself in the darker area of the secluded park, where people didn't linger. He ran until his calves ached and his chest burned. He ran with everything he had, until legs threatened to collapse beneath him, and his side threatened to break open anew, and until finally they did.

Beneath the old willow tree, he finally stopped, clutching the trees trunk as he slid to his knees. Tears billowed to the brim, and a single tear silently fell before the others. Anger suddenly swelled within him, breaking through the distraught turmoil within him. Upon his hands and knees his right hand descended to the ground with heavy force, breaking the soil around it and leaving it in slight depression.

And he fell.

The tears came unbidden, slowly falling like the snowflakes that now fell freely from the already darkened sky, the sun long past set.

Weak. How could he be so weak…? To feel things that consumed him so holey.

He was not like this. He had always refused weakness and built up against it with strength. But he had never prepared himself for this kind of weakness, a weakness of the heart.

Pushing himself to lean against the tree with his back, he fought for control. In long ragged breaths, he regained his composer. His eyes dry, and his breathing once again normal, he pushed himself to his feet, all too aware of the abstraction of sleep he felt growing to strong.

* * *

He'd been searching for over an hour, and the sun had already set, making the visibility and the possibility of finding him that much harder. He had to give Hidaka credit, setting out at the time he did was opportune, leaving just that much time before the blanket of darkness fell and all hopes of finding him vanished. But what he had done was reckless; he was in no condition to be alone for this long. He'd just gotten over his fever, and his wound was only beginning to heal, his body was still too weak.

He'd searched everywhere, everywhere Ken was likely to be, the parks, the playing fields, his favorite restaurants… All in vein. His eyes darted over passing faces and crowds as his conscious baited him, and his worry grew, almost to the point of constricting his chest. _Ken…_

And that's where he found him, his brown locks obscuring his eyes and his head held low. Within the crowed, his face suddenly appeared, in the flow opposite to his, he walked. The light his eyes once possessed gone. Frozen hands shoved within thin jacket pockets for warmth, and solemn face.

Aya's heart jumped with relief to find him in one piece.

But his heart suddenly pained.

_Why?_

For how he looked, for the suffering he looked to be in?

_Why?_

He pushed through the crowd, eager to catch the boy that had eluded him for so long, heading towards him.

"Ken!"

* * *

Kens vision swam, his eyes growing aggrieved in search of relief to find closed lids. He had to get home, no matter how much he didn't want to be there… To face the person who threw him into such inner turmoil.

His name.

People blurred around him, and his actions slowed. He could just barely make out someone calling his name. How he wished it was that one person who meant so much to him, he couldn't comprehend.

The voice called again.

_Who? _

Youji…

Youji… He would take him home. He didn't think he could make it another step without collapsing. Youji would take him home and let him sleep. But he'd have to endure the angered lecture he'd face from him. But Youji would understand, he always did…

Why was he so damn tired anyway?

* * *

"Ken!" His shoulder bumped past the last blocking person and in the crowd Ken was forcefully shoved from behind into him. "Ken!" Ken didn't put up any defense, and his body limply fell into Aya's outstretched arms, his head falling neatly into the crook of his neck.

Aya froze, his body rigid from the sudden and unexpected contact. He sighed heavily, letting his body relax. The worry he had finally gone, knowing the young brunette was safely within his arms, and no harm had come to him. His cheek fell against the head atop his chest, and he breathed in, taking in his scent.

"Are you alright?" Aya whispered, his fallen expression regained with relief.

"I'm sorry… I'm so tired, Yo-tan."

Yo-tan? Ken thought him to be Youji? His sighed lightly into the brunette's disheveled hair. No matter, he was safe that was all that mattered. "Come on, let's get you home."


	7. Carry On

Tainted Romance

Chapter VII

Carry On

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part seven of seven

_Revised_

_Tears would never reach these eyes._

_This heart so shrouded in iced stone. _

_Will the day come, when I am finally free?_

_Forever eternal, to live alone._

_Tears will never reach these eyes, no emotions hold within this heart, darkened with death and sorrow._

_A death vice holds tight to me, it clenches taking what it wills._

_A death vice holds tight to me, and no emotion floods through; but this pain._

_Tears will never reach these eyes; then why is it I cry? _

Aya returned the distorted brunette home, hefting him gently up against his back, leaving his arms to drape over his shoulders. He could hear the brunette's soft breathing as he drifted into an induced slumber, his head cradled against his shoulder and his breathing soft against his neck. He breathed in another sigh as he closed his eyes, keeping Ken's weight forward.

An unknown relief had spread across him to find him unharmed. It warmed him, taking the coldness the unknown distress had caused. But there was something more, something more that gently spread over him like the warmth Ken's body presented, pressed and tucked against his own. He could feel the comfort that settled within his heart at the slightest touch his skin caught, mingling with his.

This embrace, this emotion; he could not find its word, its name. It lingered, and never fully left him, no matter how he struggled. It didn't care; it had embedded itself within him after somehow managing to slip through his barrier, and now it was beginning to melt the barrier from the inside out.

He let out a soft growl, this was unlike him. He wasn't accustomed to letting his emotions come into light, they'd always remained in check. He'd blocked them away, letting the ice barricade he'd created keep them away. Aya shook his head, trying to purge himself of such things. He hadn't felt in such a long time, and these things were new to him. He couldn't rationalize, his impinatrable barrier, the barricade strong hold that held him together for so long, was now braking.

What was it then, this truth to the comfort, and relief he felt, the soft tingle that spread through him as the mans breath caressed his neck. The small pressure he felt at the corner of his lips, tugging at them in a small smile. The luxury of happiness.

_And the crack deepened within the barrier. _

But this was not complete, it wasn't whole. This small piece, it was only a fraction of a whole, this feeling; but what was it, this lingering doubt, this all consuming emotion?

It was so long, to have finally felt what he did not know. He couldn't place a name to what it was. His heart plagued with the swirl of deepening depths unimaginable, the lingering doubt of this all consuming emotion. His mind searching through memories… Aya-chan.

_"Ran-niisan, will you read this to me?"_

_"hm?"_

_"Niisan, this book, will you read it to me?" _

_"What is it?"_

_"My favorite! It's a book about _love._ This girl meets her love, and its wonderful Niisan! Oh! She loves him so very much! You can feel it, it's so warm. You can feel it glow from within you when you read it."_

_"Niisan, do you think that's what love is? A warm glow?" _

_Her laugh resonates, always filled with passion, her hair cascading around her face as she spins. "I think so. I think it's a warm glow. A warm glow that you can feel all over, but it stays in one place." A pause as she thinks deeply, her hand slowly placing atop her heart._

_"It's always right here."_

__In the heart__

_Love._

This word, this word he never experienced. '_A warm glow that you can feel all over, but it stays always right here, _within the heart.'

A serene calm overcame him as realization hit. The emotion calming to its name, the name it belonged to.__

Ken suddenly stirred, his body shivering slightly against his despite the added body heat he provided. Aya increased his pace; his fever had returned. Worry drifted over him, Ken shouldn't have been out in his condition. The weather was icy, the air nipping at your skin in cold waves, taking away the warmth it had possessed trying to lock it in.

* * *

The snow began falling just before they reached the Koneko, leaving tiny snowflakes to rest within Ken's ruffled chocolate locks before melting into tiny tears that dampened them. This worried him more; the tiny snowflakes that melted took away what was left of the warmth he possessed. He increased his pace another step once again, the snow coming faster as he turned the corner.

"Aya!" Omi's comforted voice broke through, the familiar sound of the wind chime against the koneko's door singing as the door opened. Without a further word, he held the door open, ushering Aya in quickly.

Aya saw him as he stepped through the shops door, standing silently and unemotional in the doorway to the den, a white towel draped over his arms. Youji's eyes bore into his, questioning him, the pain for the brunette he held obvious. They were almost accusing. Accusing in the way you defend, defend those you love from further hurt. Saving them from the pain of a wounded heart, his eyes foretelling the pain he saw in the eyes behind closed lids the brunette's orbs told. The blonde told him what to expect, should further pain be given to the broken heart he held.

Aya stopped before him, his eyes pleading beneath his crimson locks. Let me help him, his amethyst eyes asked wordlessly, he had no intention of causing him pain. Youji lowered his eyes, turning his gaze to the shivering brunette he held, and without acknowledging words; he stepped away.

Aya looked to him, seeking to meet his eyes, but the blonde didn't comply, he hid between the shadows of the den and the light the Koneko brought.

Head bowed Aya stepped forward, looking to the sofa hidden in the darkness. He stepped past, climbing the stairs slowly, carefully shifting Ken's weight forward. A gentle hand appeared from behind, giving him trust; _Youji_. He wouldn't fall.

He laid him gently atop his bed, Youji taking his weight as he lowered him. Aya turned running a hand through his own sodden hair as he searched the room. The moonlight seeping through the frosted windows enough to give light to the items that rest within the athlete's room.

The room felt alive and lived in, the desired feeling one wanted. Discarded clothes scattered the floor, and soccer gear piled to the corner by the door. Mud clinging to the worn cleats and grass stains decorating the much used soccer ball. He took it all in, everything noted and placed strategically. However, this room did not feel like a home. No posters adjourned the walls and items did not lie atop the furniture. No pictures hung of family or friends, but a single worn photo held by the dressers mirror in its corner of his former J-league days. A single oversized leather chair sat to the corner against the window, a simple lamp placed with on the small nightstand beside the bed. He noticed the book; it was the only accessory that lay about. It was old, his hardback binding haggard, its cover void.

He pushed away notions of observation, stepping to the dresser. Searching, he filed through the two top drawers before finding something suitable; a simple white long sleeved shirt with a small logo facing the back and a long pair of black jaw string pants.

Youji seated himself beside the brunette, the towel still in hand as he brushed away dampened chocolate locks, trying to dry him. Aya waited as the blonde dried his hair before stripping him of his clothes and replacing them. He sighed inspecting the wound, thankful he hadn't reopened or stressed the area.

Omi strode in silently with a thick blanket overlaying his arms, quietly laying it atop the shivering brunette.

Youji smiled sadly down upon his friend, pushing the comforters up and around his shoulders. He rose, looking to Aya as he watched dejectedly. A small sympathetic smile curved his lips as walked to and placed the towel atop his head, giving it a small ruffle before striding from the room with the youngest member of Weiss.

The room became increasingly still in the darkness as the light given from the hall fleeted as the door closed. The silence tore at him, eating at him with much more force. His hands clutched the shirt, Ken's, he hadn't managed to place down yet, they wrung at it, stressing it between his palms.

Guilt had washed over him. Fear, for being close to losing him, for the brunette was breaking. Sorrow, unable to find the words he wished to express.

He tore his eyes from the sleeping brunette. He pulled them to the shirt he still held and released the pressure from his grip. His sight fell to the floor, and the few discarded clothes that covered it; he gingerly picked them up and placed the folded clothes atop the dresser, returning to the slumbering form.

His fingers delicately brushed against the heated flesh, brushing away the chocolate locks that managed to obscure his eyes once again. A small flinch crossed the brunette's face; Aya's hand recoiled, keeping the silent sigh from escaping his lips.

* * *

He could feel the strings of sleep falling as his mind stirred from its slumber. He could feel the extra warmth that covered him, and the light weight clothes that pressed against him. And he could feel the unknown presence that settled within the room, even before his subconscious fully awoke.

Siberian was alert, yelling within him with the skills of an assassin. _Danger, someone is near. _

Where was he? The last thing he remembered was the sidewalk. Someone had pushed him from behind... And the warmth of the rescuing arms that embraced him. He could remember the gentle pressure of the arms that wrapped around him, steadying him as he fell into oblivion. But the assassin within him hadn't fought then, he'd remained silent.

His eyes slowly lifted, opening to the darkness that surrounded him. He blinked, unmoving.

The darkness yielded as his eyes adjusted, the gentle moonlight that bathed the room giving the only light he needed. He pressed himself to look around the objects washed by the gentle light spilling from the window.

His room.

Siberian fell silent.

Slowly, he pulled his body to sit up, pushing away the blankets that clung to him. He was overheated; he could feel the sweat that dampened his skin, his clothes clinging to his body. His mind was groggy, willing him to return to the sleep that once held him. He pushed away the notion, noticing the slender figure at his beds end, asleep.

_'God, Aya! You scared the shit out of me!'_ His body slumped forward, the sudden unknown tension easing with the haggard breath he released. He ran a hand over his face and lifted his head back to the slender form. His back was stiffly pressed against the wall, one leg cascading over the bed, the other propped up, his arm curled atop it and his head resting upon it.

* * *

He awoke to the subtle movements of the bed and the soft sound of feet against carpet receding across the room. The night's events returning to him once again as his eyes found him tucked beneath the window, basking in the light the moon cast upon him. His eyes were closed, his agile form leaning into the corner, sitting as he watched with closed eyes. He didn't know what to do, his mind refused to register, his emotions spilling like water; his barrier cracked and shattering. Would he just sit here, watching?

"I know you're awake." The deeply soft voice spun like silk of the deepest color, blood red with the pain it held. His from, pressed to the window, didn't move, his eyes opening to return to the snow that continued to fall.

Aya watched him, unsure; wishing the words he willed would come to him. Ken's eyes wouldn't meet his.

"Was it you?" Aya blinked, confused.

"The sedative, was it Youji, Omi?" Ken didn't repeat his question, but returned with another. Again, he didn't answer, the brunette already knew his answer.

A forced breath escaped his lips, his eyes once again closing with pain, leaning into the cold comfort the window carried, "Why are you here?" It was barley heard, whispered with such pain, but Aya caught it, his ears straining against it.

Ken didn't expect an answer, not from him, he wasn't even sure the redhead had heard it. "I was worried… about you."

"It's not like you." The voice was solid even if small, his eyes still wouldn't look to his; always to the snow that fell. To the cold night that froze everything, to the grey haze.

"Omi…." He wasn't sure he could continue, what was it that he wanted to say?

He watched as his face contorted with pain, his head falling down against the window pane. "Why, why are you doing this to me?" his voice never rose, continuing to whisper in pain in the blood red silk thread that threatened to break.

Aya could feel the pain he radiated, the depth of the emotion that welled within the boy and his heart wrenched. He was broken, the still form that used to radiate with such simple joy, the masks of smiles even if he wasn't feeling them he displayed. He was secluding himself; he could feel him distancing himself. He could feel the small barriers he was placing to avoid the pain. His eyes were blank, devoid, no longer holding the glitter for life.

"Because, you managed to break through." Aya managed to slowly bring the words from the depths inside him, his voice so small. "You broke through the barriers I had placed around myself."

He rose from the bed, taking a shaky step forwards. He didn't even realize he'd taken himself from the bed, his heart so intent on relieving the pain that flowed from this broken form. "I haven't felt anything in so long; I wasn't sure what it was."

"You scared me; you had managed to effortlessly destroy what I had built to protect myself. It's how I've lived, and to have them taken from me; it scared me." He pressed forward, his body consciously aware of the close proximity to the brunette. He rose a hand, gently turning to lift his chin with his fingers; the brunette pulled away. Hesitantly, Aya took his face again, turning it to him once again; he didn't pull away a second time.

He couldn't tell if his words were heard or felt, the brunette felt to far gone, wrapped deep within himself. No brief glitter sparked within the dull brow orbs. And he could feel his heart drive knives through itself, already knotted with pain.

He lowered his head, his crimson strands falling to entangle with chocolate as he pressed his head to his. His hands deftly cradled the mans head, holding him closely.

He whispered, "Don't close yourself off from me. Don't pull away. I'm not leaving, I won't…." He paused, "You broke through my defenses with just a single glance. Taking everything I thought I'd built up over the years and breaking it. And it scared me… I was afraid Ken, afraid you might not feel the same, afraid of what it might mean. Afraid of you one day realizing you might not feel the same anymore and leaving. I didn't think I could handle that. I was so afraid of having everything I knew and loved taken away from me again, that I didn't want to get close. But seeing you hurt... I couldn't… I couldn't not… Aishiteru Ken. I love you."

Warm lips suddenly descended upon the brunettes, pressing against them. Tenderly caressing, pressing upon the corners of his mouth, lightly pressuring. Devoid eyes sparked, closing to let a single tear cascade down his cheek and fall between their lips. His arm snaked up, clutching the cloth of Aya's shirt tightly within his palm.

Stunned to say the least, he could feel warmth spread from him, enveloping him, controlling. The coldness, the darkness, the emptiness; dissipated. Slowly, his embraced the warmth, embracing the lips pressed against his own.

A kiss that conveyed his sincerity, showing what words could not. He nibbled upon the brunettes bottom lip, lightly brushing across the swollen red lips with his tongue, seeking entrance. A moan elucidated from the brunette now pressed against the cold window pane sent a shiver of pleasure dancing upon Aya's spine.

His tongue slipped past moist lips, entering the moist cavern. He delighted in it, delving into the sweet taste of Ken, something he noted between a mix of hot chocolate and vanilla ice cream; savoring it. His tongue swept across his teeth, sweeping over to familiarize himself with every inch of him.

Heated the kiss became gentle once again; Aya slowing to brake away, touching his forehead to his and breathing.

His hand slid forward, taking Ken's and entwining their fingers together before he opened his eyes. Ken's eyes eluded him; hidden beneath the too long coffee colored locks, his head downcast and pressed against his own. A smile tugged at his lips at Kens flushed cheeks. Cautiously, he raised his head to shift the locks that obscured the eyes he wished to see.

His head fell into the embrace, his eyes downcast. Aya tilted his head to the side, leaning down slightly to catch the eyes with his own, "Ken," he paused.

Chocolate orbs sparkled, up, still within his hands embrace; Searching his own, delving deep into his own amethyst eyes for answers, sincerity.

Ken's body suddenly shook, clinging to him with such force he craved more. Ken buried his head against his chest, wishing to be enveloped in his arms. "Don't… Don't leave." The voice sounded desperate, barely audible it repeated, "Don't leave." Fear laced his words repeated endlessly.

Joy flooded through Aya's very existence, his arms enveloping the fragile form before him. Drawing him close, basking in the warmth pressed to him, the love that he held. __

_"Niisan, do you think that's what love is? A warm glow?" _

_Her laugh resonates, always filled with passion, her hair cascading around her face as she spins. "I think so. I think it's a warm glow. A warm glow that you can feel all over, but it stays in one place."_

His walls had fallen, and the rubble had left him seeking. Seeking the love that broke through and desperately clutching to it. Strength flooded him, he wasn't alone. Pain, fear, hope, happiness, joy; he was vulnerable. His walls weren't completely broken however, the rubble still remained, but it too would dissipate in time. It would melt the same way his walls of shrouded ice had. He would fight not to build those walls back up again. He wouldn't leave himself unprotected, some walls would always remain, but they were different walls. Helpful walls. He couldn't change overnight, but it was a beginning. A beginning he looked forward to with elation, spending it with the form pressed to him; _the person who had broken through._

Owari.


End file.
